eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
