I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
