We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
