'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
