u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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