its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
