Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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