Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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