I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
