you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
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if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
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We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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