If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Drunk is a universal language darling
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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