Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
