Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
