Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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