You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I haven't been this sober since birth.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
