It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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