You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Hippo gnu deer
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
