Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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