After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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