hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
