direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
