i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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