Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
