my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
