Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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