He asked to "fluff my boner.."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
