either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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