My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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