On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
