the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize