i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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