I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
