You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I need moral support for this bender
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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