I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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