What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
