I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize