having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
