I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
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