just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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