I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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