non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
