matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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