do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
