Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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