everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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