got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
