sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
