you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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