either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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