Where is the hickey?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
