Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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