he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
A bitchslap is in order.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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