i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
