You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize