I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
