Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
