is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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