just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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