I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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