The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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