If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize