They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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